“My father had a few good qualities and many horrible ones. He was a master in masking his bad qualities.
But I Iearned from my grandfather, who was as best as they come.
Which is why my grandpa’s death affected me more than my father’s abandonment”
Something that is vastly overlooked in modern society, and especially the male sphere, is the role that fathers have on DAUGHTERS.
While it’s quite common to talk about the negatives of young men raised by single mothers and how this affects them, the effect this has on daughters is of equal consideration. Women fundamentally depend on MEN for protection. This has nor will it ever change.
This is where having no father fails a young woman differently than a young man
A young man who is fatherless can often seek refuge with other men. Gangs have always fulfilled this role. A young woman cannot do that. Which puts her at a disadvantage of being unprotected against men. (FYI, I am not saying gangs are good. Im pointing out that they simply provide some fraternal comfort for men that men crave)
At best, she avoids men and hopefully develops some boundaries in her interactions with them.
At worst, she is immensely taken advantage of; sexually, emotionally, mentally, and everything in between.
Women who grow up without dads typically lack for THREE things
1-Positive experience with masculine love-Women who have never been loved by a man have no idea HOW to love a man, what being loved by a man feels like, and are unable to see what positive attributes masculinity can bring to their life. Young women who lack fathers will typically fixate on whatever male authority gives them some measure of attention, usually a teacher or perhaps coach.
They are also at risk of being sexualized early; there is research that women without dads reach sexual maturity faster.
On the evolutionary upside, reproduction is how species survive.
On the many downsides, a young girl barely in her teens having sex and using it as a means of creating some male-female bonding and getting attention is putting herself at extreme risk.
Additionally, a combination of a mother that is Bitter towards men, and a her own bitter experiences with women, this can turn young women off from men entirely, and makes for very antagonistic relationships.
The rise of bisexuality in young women today is likely traceable to the above phenomenon; young women seeking other women because of the familiarity with women, and the desire for “safe” intimacy that is more known to them.
2-Archetypal understanding of what a Man is-The human psyche develops a subconscious conceptualization of the opposite sex (this is known as a Jungian idea, but this model predates Jung by thousands of years).
For men, they have an Anima; an internal model of their sum beliefs and experiences and understanding of women
For women, they have an Animus; an internal model of their sum beliefs and experiences and understand of men
Ideally, a child grows up with a mother and father, and they have a good relationship with both, and this forms a psychological bedrock of generally regarding the opposite sex with fondness and wanting to get along.
If a child LACKS a parent, their experience with the absent parents gender is short changed, hopefully someone else will step in to fill that role.
For young women without a father, Hopefully there is some other male role model that fulfills the archetypal role.
If there is not, then the young woman is at the mercy of the world, and her archetypal formation is likely to be very negative
3-A lack of emotional control, self respect, and understanding of boundaries
One of a father’s role in his children’s life is to introduce controlled TENSION into their lives. While his primary job is to Protect from harm, he also carries the responsibility to PREPARE them to avoid harm, or counter it.
Women focus on keeping their children safe. Men focus on preparing their children for an unsafe world.
Dad protects you, because in a primal scenario he is what stands in between danger. Dad also prepares you for how to face that danger when he is not there.
One of the distinct traits of masculinity is that with Strength comes RESPECT. Men respect strength, both of the physical and mental. Men learn very young that physical power and prowess is not something you can ignore or disrespect.
Men can be “playful” with each other in regards to ball busting behavior, but men are constantly testing for COMPETENCY. Sports are tests this way, as are most physical contests.
Male interaction is also decidedly rougher than that of women. Men create cooperation through competition. Women create competition with one another by way of trying to cooperate.
What a good father teaches his children then is the Emotional control that enables one to handle tension, the self-respect that comes with the consequences of ones actions, and the boundaries of behavior between themselves and others that should be honored.
Fathers are typically the authority figure for this very reason. Unlike the mother whose empathy can make her a poor disciplinarian and whose mood is more transiently affected by her child’s mood, fathers are the stabilizing force.
Women who lack all of these qualities. They exhibit poor emotional control, forcing people to deal with their bitchiness. They lack self respect and boundaries, vacillating in a confused state of uncontrolled emotional displays and sexualization, and then withdrawing and often extreme insecurity, all while not understanding their own mixed messages that they send.
I believe the current trend of young girls wanting to sexualize and paternize their boyfriend into a “daddy”, and also the trend of sugar babies and woman wanting a “daddy” who pays for them and they provide sexual favors for; this a is a meta level of manifestation of what happens when girls are raised by their mothers and lunatic feminism.
The jokes abound of these types of women wanting to be choked, sexually dominated, and acting like little girls, but underneath all of that are psychosexual origins that I believe are pretty obvious.
The adage of “she didn;t have a good father” when a woman is behaving badly is entirely real.
Leading with Sex
Something that is very unfortunate with many young women today is that they “lead with sex” as I call it. This is not demonization or shaming of the desire to Have sex, it’s pointing out that women can have a false impression when they are young that by having Sex with men, that means they are VALUABLE to men.
Said simple, if a woman wants to have lots of sex with of men, she is free to do so. But she WILL be regarded as a “Slut”. Why so?
Because the sex IS transactional.
Whereas the male fantasy of unlimited sexual abundance is predicated on “spreading” one’s seed and achieving reproductive success, that is NOT the case for women.
A woman that has sex with everyone and gets pregnant by no one; that would historically indicate infertility. Hypergamy is failing in this regard.
As such, the more men a woman has sex with, the more likely she is seen as a sexual object by men. And why would she not be? In a primal setting, if there is a woman who freely has sex with all the men BUT there is no apparent risk of pregnancy, thats a net positive on the male side. She can quite literally be USED FOR SEX.
Consequently though, she is not valued at all for reproductive PARTNERSHIP. Or pair bonding in general.
As such, if a young lady wants male attention and uses sex to get it, she WILL get attention, but it will be of the transient type.
Why has this “leading with sex” happened”? I’d point to birth control as the primary cause. Relative to modern times, the possibility of pregnancy has been minimized. A young women “leading with sex” and being encouraged to do so because her sexuality should not be inhibited is having sex under the auspices of both carnal enjoyment, some form of “fempowerment” narrative belief, and some form of desire for emotional comfort/connection,
All this said lest anyone think I am being puritanical-Women absolutely DO have casual sex at times, but an overall casual attitude TO sex as a whole would biologically put a woman at risk for pregnancy rather immediately.
Again, historically, sex meant pregnancy. Women would have had to mitigate their own hypergamy so as to avoid this.
Having casual sex covertly versus openly pursuing casual sex are not the same thing. The first is allowable and understandable; obviously enjoy sex for the sake of sex, and humans don’t bond for life automatically. The latter is a sex-centered view of relationships that ultimately objectifies both parties.
My advice to young women then: Have the sex you want, but be discerning with WHO you have it with. And know that using immediate sex as a way to “bond” with any man who strikes your interest and make them love you is not likely to work in your favor as you think it might.